Finding calm in the storm

• 

• 

Well to say the last few weeks have been a whirlwind would be an understatement. I believe my last posts was a whine fest.

Fast forward a few weeks and lets see how things are going. For starters I was having no improvement on my health. I felt like I had a huge ball in my throat every time I swallowed. My moods were still kind of all over the place. This while on the medicine the M.D. prescribed. So… I called my natural doctor who bless her soul spent 2 hours with me. She put me on the most aggressive natural therapy program I have done to date as far as supplements go. This was on Saturday by Monday the lump in throat was gone. Tuesday night I had the best sleep I have had in quite some time.

I spent Sunday at Six Flags with one of my Grandsons. Yes I know I should have been at church. I prayed about it and talked to Jesus and decided the day with my Grandson was what I needed. We listened to Toby Mac on the way and had one of the best days together we have ever had.

• 

This trip he had a wonderful time, lost his fear and we rode and rode and laughed and had a wonderful time. Priceless. I thank Jesus for a blessed day.

Now I have beaten myself up about missing so much church, I realize this is a season in my life and right now on the days church is just another thing on my list of to do’s it is ok to stop and just spend time with the Lord. Please do no misunderstand me, we are told to gather together to worship and serve our Lord and we should but there will be times perhaps it is not plausible. That is ok! We should still reach out to our church family, try to find time to communicate and let them know we love them and miss them and still need their support. Get to church when you can. This season in life will pass and you can get back to your regular schedule in time. I know some will not agree with my opinion on this and I will love you anyway. I sat in the nursery a few weeks ago with the wrong attitude because I made it all the way to church just to sit in the nursery. I had to really pray about it and apologized to a few people about my negativity that day.

• 

I felt completely overwhelmed that day leaving church and that is when I decided to stop in my tracks and regroup. I prayed and then apologized to whom I felt I needed to. The both said no need we all need to vent sometimes. My Bible tells me not to complain. I figure I better pay attention to my Bible and appreciate my wonderful friends for understanding. I also decided that day if it is too much for me I will not make the drive, load up the Mom, babies etc and stay home that day. I will feel no guilt on that day and will do my best to be there when I can. I will listen to the online sermon when available or find another.

I also decided to see the natural dr., focus harder on my goals, research dementia and Alzheimer’s. Take the classes to handle the changes with Mom. Do the workouts for my own health and sanity. As the storm rages on I will cling even more closely to Jesus. He is not only at church he is with me everywhere I go. Sometimes it is just a deep breath before I respond. Sometimes it is clenched visit and a long holding of the breath to regroup. I always pray for him to tell me what to say or not say at that time. Sometimes I just say his name. I am back to starting my day in is word and presence and it sets the mood for the day. Do I have to get up even earlier, Yes sometimes I do but it is worth it. Do I miss going to church ? Yes I do, but right now this is where I am. I miss more than I attend. I can feel guilty and sad and worried about what other think of me or I can realize I have the power of Jesus to be joyful in all season and situations. People’s opinions of me are none of my business and does not change the reality of who I am. I am a daughter of the one true King and I will find my calm in the storm in him!!!

I will find out later today if my Mother in law will also be moving in with us. I will trust that God has me ready for such a time as this. I will admit to him when I am overwhelmed. I will let him be my comfort. I will be the best me I can be. I will not quit but find my calm in the storm in the presence of the one who gave his life for me.

•