Roller Coaster Ride

I have always loved the thrill of the roller coaster. All of them, it just was always an adrenal rush for me. Something I could enjoy with my kiddos and now grand kids. Fun Fun Fun.

I have thought about it all this week, life really is just one big roller coaster. If I am honest lately not one I am enjoying riding. I can wish for that to be different but we all know life is filled with ups and down, twists and turns.

I know that not everyone rides the same, some are terrified, some are excited and happy, other chose not to ride and other just jump off metaphorically speaking. So I have decided that I will continue to ride and be thankful for every day that I get another chance to do so.

I know that life can throw us some curves that we do not see coming, much like the indoor roller coaster you know the ones, in the dark you are never quite sure what is coming next. I am learning that though I am strong and can usually handle even the scariest I am getting a bit tired of this particular roller coaster. I refuse to get off I am going to change my seat and move back a bit. I am going to trust God and keep believing that he only has plans to prosper and not harm me.

Maybe for now I will choose a smaller ride. I know I am sounding a bit crazy, could be I am. I am choosing to reach out for help in this particular part of the ride. I am turning to people who can help me navigate what lies ahead. I am at the moment having to step down from quite a few things I enjoy doing. However, I have also been given the opportunity to have help and free up some time for me to continue to be me. To spend time with my loved ones, learn new things, be present with everyone around me instead of just focused on caring for my Mom and keeping my house in order. Do not misunderstand, I am honored and blessed I can take care of my Mom. It does get hard on me from time to time.

There will always be someone who thinks, they know best and that no matter what you do, you are doing it wrong. I will listen and hopefully be open enough to see a better way. I will not be so stubborn and set in my ways that I can not be taught something new or a better way to adapt and help my Mom have the best days as possible.

Alzheimer’s and Dementia are not your normal diseases. They are two kind of roller coasters of their very own. I have had a little experience from the sidelines in the past now it seems I am in the front seat and what a ride.

I do not know what tomorrow holds for any of us, but I do know who holds my hand. I am getting better at not being so impatient. I have learned more in this past 2 weeks, about the disease and how it works, it helps to be informed and to know that other have already walked this path. I prayed to God to lead me to some solid earthly help and he has done so.

I find myself singing I’m so blessed I’m so blessed got this heart beat in my chest, it doesn’t matter about the rest Lord I ‘ve got you and I’m so blessed. I do this when I feel myself getting too stressed out about all I need to do on a particular day. Sometimes I do it just because.

I will continue to try to live my life the way the Lord wishes me to. I know I will not do it perfectly. I thank Jesus and the Holy Spirit for guiding me and for continuing to help me grow in this.

I will hang on to Jesus and ride this roller coaster through until the end.