Whose Will Is It Anyway?

I was listening to Greg Laurie this morning about walking in the will of God. It triggered some thoughts for me this morning.

So what is will? In this case the desire, inclination or choice of a person or group. In todays world most of the time we want to do our own will. You know do it my way. My I pad, my I phone, my wants and my needs above anything else. I am guilty of this myself from time to time. As we look around at the culture today, we see this everywhere we look. In our desire to be and do whatever we want to do we are actually losing ourselves and the purpose that we were created for.

What about the will of God? How do we know the will of God? Is there really a God anyway or am I my own God? Questions, confusion chaos. No wonder the world around us is at war with each other. I know in my heart that there is a God. I am not saying there are no other Gods but I believe in the one true God. The one who sent his Son to pay a debt that I never could. I am forever grateful that he loved us all enough to send his Son as a sacrifice for our sin.

Now what about that will ? How do I know God’s will. First and foremost I must know him. How you say? I read his word daily, I meditate on it and pray for his guidance. I surround myself with like minded people who are also believers. Here is where it gets tricky, you see even if we are saved we still are guilty of not always following the will of God. Stay with me I am not say we deliberately do not follow God’s will. You see I am struggling lately myself. It seems in the world around me that things come at me so rapidly that I react without even getting the chance to ask God’s will I am in total flight mode and I forget I have the Holy Spirit to help lead me, if I can slow myself down enough to seek him. You see I know the word and I have it in my heart, I just fail at utilizing the gifts given to me at times. I hope that I am not alone in this.

IF you follow me on Facebook or read my blog, then you know I have had a hard time being totally consistent. I am still having to pivot and adjust as life around me changes. The journey with my Mom definitely has it’s own set of challenges. I think as Christians we sometime think if we are believers then we must say we rely on Christ to solve all our problems. I say this is true, in addition we must pray and open our hearts and minds to the things around us that he has provided to help us along the way. You see I am a type A personality. I get it done and do it all. I do not do it without help from the Lord, but I am guilty of not asking for more help when I need it. Heaven forbid I should appear weak or not be able to handle what I am given. HMMMM am I alone on this as well.

I am working full time, very active in helping with two of my grandchildren full time, caring for my Mom full time and trying to maintain healthy relationships with my husband, children and friends. I realized after much prayer and meditation, it is not a weakness to be proactive. I know that the disease my Mom has will cause change. I know it is coming. I know I have reached capacity on my mental health in what I can accomplish alone. I constantly stay torn between all of the demands on my time and attention. I took an action step yesterday, not on my own, you see my day was very hectic as usual and I almost headed home to get my evening duties started, however I had made myself a promise I would reach out to the Smith County Alzheimer Alliance and as I turned to go home God said, you have put this off long enough it is time to admit you need help. I must tell you I think in my heart this was the best decision I could have made.

Miss Tonya, made me feel human. She actually reminded me that I was only human. She has also walked this road in her own life. She not only educates and helps set you up with respite care, she knows exactly what you are going through. I left there feeling better. It helps to know you have someone guiding you who has been there. Isn’t this true in all of aspects of life. It confirms what my Bible tells me I go through struggles so that I too may help other who may suffer my same struggles.

There is another twist to this story about finding my way to the Alzheimer Alliance. I will not give the details but just to say God’s timing on my going in was timely.(yes I know lame). It was however, very timely as two days later I had to deal with an unexpected interaction and was better prepared for it after my initial visit. It occurred the morning of my next meeting with Miss Tonya. They are a blessing, She was able to calm me down and realize that you just never know what the day will bring.

It took me all of last week and a few moments today on Monday to finish this up. I am glad I can say I have written some on it everyday even if it is only a sentence or two at a time. It means I am continue to follow the instructions I believe that God has given me. I am may be moving forward at a snail’s pace but I am moving forward.